PUFF, PUFF, PUFF, TILL YOU SMOKE YOURSELF TO DEATH, PART II

Well, I got the appropriate guff for my smoking ban tirade, both from here and from my website. A million thanks to all you folks that responded, it was quite edu-taining!

As expected, the response came back about 50/50 for and against the complete city-wide (or state-wide, or nation-wide) smoking bans. And, also as expected, ALL the pro-ban-ers were - you guessed it -- non-smokers!! Virtually all of those folks that were for the ban had phrases like "...for those of us who don't smoke", or "Many non-smokers like myself believe..." And, I assume because of the fear of public shunning and persecution, most of the folks against the ban never said whether they were smokers or not. But I expect it's mostly people who at least are part-time smokers -- the "I only smoke when I drink"-ers -- or full blown smokestacks. I also know several non-smokers who are against the ban. I don't know any smokers who are for it.

I've gotten as much or more response on this subject than most of my rants on politics, religion, or sports. Why is that? I think it's because it goes deeper than health issues, or personal freedom, or rights of free commerce. It's a thing that actually goes to the very heart of who we are as a city, and what we want to become.

I, like thousands of others before and since, came to Austin in 1994 (I do realize that, after living here 10 years, I'm still a carpetbagger) because this was a cool, hip, funky, beautiful city. It had worldwide fame as the "Live Music Capital Of The World", which held great appeal to me as a 20-year-old aspiring musician in Knoxville, TN. Knoxville's a great music town, but at the time was severely limited for music biz opportunity. Austin seemed like the perfect place for me -- and it was. I came here, and it was everything it was supposed to be; great music, great bars, great people. Seeing the old-school kickers two-stepping with the tattooed-and-pierced punk-a-billy set at Junior Brown and Derailers gigs was something that threw me for a loop. 'This is the coolest town I've ever seen!!' After a few years of hanging around, I started putting out records and getting my own gigs at places like The Continental Club, where I had a 4-year Monday night residency, and Ginny's Little Longhorn, where I've played weekends and Tuesdays for the last 7 years or so. Ginny's has become my second home, and Ginny and Don were like surrogate parents to me. Don passed away a couple of years ago -- he was one of the greatest men I ever knew, and was quite a character.

Like most old ornery cowboy types, he was a guy that was always ready with a one-liner, always nicely peppered with good-natured curses. During one SXSW, when the vintage clothing shop Under The Sun was still up on Burnet Rd. (just down the street from Ginny's), they were having one of their multi-band extravaganzas. Don had let us borrow the PA from Ginny's, and was going with us & the owners of the shop to go pick it up when they opened up. People had been smoking, drinking, and partying inside Under The Sun for about 3 straight days, so you can imagine the smell of smoke that wafted out as soon as we opened the door. Don was the first in: "Lord, it smells like a damn honky-tonk in here!" After we all mumbled some apologetic "sorries", he came back with, "And that's the best goddamn smell in the world!" And shot us one of those Don-grins over his shoulder.

A quick side note: I went to see the Rangers play the Red Sox this weekend up in Arlington. When we got back to the hotel, our clothes REEKED of hot dogs, onions, and mustard. It was pretty damn disgusting. So, I'm thinking we should probably ban hot dogs from ballparks. They're bad for you anyway.

As a matter of fact, most of you emailers that were in favor of the smoking ban mentioned "coming home smelling clean" before any health risks or anything else. I understand that completely -- that smoky-sweaty thing going on with your clothes when you come home from a night out can be plain foul. But, as much as many current Austinites hate to think about it, without that God-awful smell, a honky-tonk simply is not a honky-tonk. It's actually possible that something "ugly" can make something better! I know that's tough for many of you to swallow. But the truth rarely is -- many people, thousands of people, dare I say millions of people actually like that smell. By the way, have you ever been in a bar in the daytime, before it opens? It smells like stale sweat, spilled beer, and ammonia. Without smoking, all bars will smell like that -- I'll take smoke over that foulness any day. But that's neither here nor there, just my personal opinion. The fact is, to many people (for hundreds of years, in fact), a smoky bar or pub is the smell of people having a good time, relaxing, dancing, drinking, maybe letting loose a bit. I'm with Don on this one -- that's the best goddamn smell in the world.

That's why this smoking ban is deeper than the surface voting issues that we're presented with. Where are we headed as a city, what do we want to become? A couple of the pro-ban responses I got were from guys/musicians (also non-smokers) that lived in New York and L.A., where they have the bans, and they said the crowds didn't dwindle, and everybody was fine, and they wish it was that way here. But that's my point -- there's a reason I didn't move to New York or L.A ten years ago. It's because I didn't want to live there then, and I certainly don't now! I want to live in Austin. Do we really want to become LosNewYorkAngeles, Jr.? Nobody goes to those places just for the cool little bars and smoky dives -- thousands of people come to Austin for that very reason every year, especially during SXSW. Those cities also haven't based 90% of their tourism industry on those same bars -- Austin has. It's New York and L.A.! Two of the world's largest metropolises are just going to have a thriving nightlife, no matter what, smoking ban or no smoking ban. But to me and many, many others, Austin is not that. Austin is a town that has become what it is because of the live music played in those cool, smoky little clubs. Traveling acts always want to play in Austin for that very reason, and because they can always have a good time here -- including the kind of "good time" traveling musicians tend to partake in -- and our "cool clubs" and "smoky little bars" are a huge part of that.

I hate to generalize folks, but sometimes you just have to. Let's be honest -- generally, your non-smoking, more health conscious folks are not your "night-life" folks. They're often more family-oriented, and have full-time day jobs. Not to say these aren't people that like to go out and enjoy music and have fun like everybody else, they just do it less often, and prefer to end their nights a little earlier. And true also that many of these folks would come out to hear live music more often if there was no smoking. But it's porportional -- instead of going out once every few weeks, they'll come out twice every one or two weeks. Full-time night-lifers, on the other hand -- people who are usually single/unmarried, no kids, often students with part time jobs, will likely still keep going out. Many people, for example the thousands of restaurant workers that have been spawned by Austin's huge bar/restaurant per capita ratio, normally go out to their favorite little bar to relax after work for a few drinks, twice as many cigarettes, a cool band, and they usually stay till about closing time They'll still stop by -- but they'll have a beer, go outside for a couple of smokes, and then go home where they can actually relax, staying for about a half a set of live music. Those who stay will spend the majority of their time outside. Why sit down, when you have to get up every little bit, fight your way through the crowd, and go stand outside anyway? They'll just stay out there -- I would. I nice gal in Ireland emailed me, saying that their smoking ban has worked fine, even though smoky bars are a long-standing tradition there as well. She said the smokers have developed a nice little social scene outside, and when they come back inside everybody's in a good mood and doesn't complain too much. Well, allow me to let you in on a little secret -- know what they're doing out there? They're standing out there in their little leper colony, complaining and commiserating about having to smoke outside! Sure, it's its own little social scene -- misery breeds company. And when they come back inside in a good mood and not complaining? It's because they just had a cigarette.

OK, enough tirading. Here it is -- at best, a complete smoking ban in Austin would balance out. More non-smokers would go out. Smokers will stay home more, or will spend too much of their time outside to be comfortable. Musicians will lose some audience members, but will gain others. Even on the outward issues -- health risk vs. business -- all the data on one side can be negated by the other side. All in all, the best we can hope for is that everybody will break even. So, why make a change at all, when nothing is truly gained?

But everybody will gain healthier, cleaner-smelling places to hear live music, so at least that's good for everybody, right? Here's another fact that many non-smokers have a hard time dealing with: smokers could pretty much care less about their own health. Otherwise, they wouldn't be smoking. So, having "healthier" places to hear music is pretty much irrelevant to thousands of people. But what about the health of other people, the non-smokers that get harmed by their smoke? First of all, of course it's not good for you. But the factual data on the actual effects of secondhand smoke is still out -- everytime there's a study showing how bad it is, there's another study saying it may not be as bad as they thought 10 years ago. Second of all, this is coming from Austinites, people who live in one of the most polluted cities in the country! I have a feeling that many of those who will be voting for the smoking ban on May 5 will drive to their polling places in their SUV's -- harming more people with their gas-guzzling carbon-monoxide factories than smokers harm non-smokers after a couple of hours in a bar. Instead of banning smoking, we might want to look into banning SUV's first. Let me guess --- non-smokers who drive SUV's would be against that. Smokers in Hyundais would be for it.

So, let's not take a huge step in changing Austin into something else. I, and at least half of Austin's population, would prefer to keep it the town that we love now. "Change" does not necessarily mean "progress". Just because New York and L.A. do it, does not mean it's "progressive". I've played in those cities, in those bars. Sure, they can be cool and fun, but there's a coldness there, and uptightness, that bars in Austin don't have -- yet. A complete smoking ban would take a big chunk out of the soul of Austin. We already have a fair smoking ban, so let's not make another change for the sake of change. Vote no to the new smoking ban on May 7.

Roger