RATTLESNAKE RUCKUS

The following is an email I received about my Soapbox tales of the Rattlesnake Round-up in Taylor, TX, and my response to it. Enjoy! I did.

Hello

I read your story about the Rattlesnake roundup and can't believe you think that type of behaviour is okay! The roundups are cruel and should be stopped. We should be teaching our children to respect animals because they all have a purpose in nature. They should not be used as entertainment especially when it causes suffering for the animal. Adults must be desperate for entertainment if they have to resort to those types of activities.

-- Gayle

Dearest Gayle --

Thank you so much for your response, I appreciate your feedback. Very refreshing.

Apparently you haven't read my other Soapboxes, or you wouldn't have so much difficulty believing that I could enjoy a horror such as the Rattlesnake Roundup in Taylor, TX. My first thought was that you were most likely from -- lemme guess -- the west coast, or possibly the northeast. Or, from your spelling of "behaviour", possibly Canada. And naturally, my second thought was, "Oh, please..... you're kidding, right?"

Then, after some extra thought, and research from Miss K, I came to a distinctly different conclusion: "Oh, please..... you're really kidding, right?" OK, fine... the devil's advocate in me played a little moral ping-pong with my entertainment DNA. It went something like:

Fun Me: "Oh,please... it's rattlesnakes, for God's sake."

Devil's Advocate Me (and Miss K): "Yeah, but seeing tamed elephants really pisses you off, like in the circus and stuff."

FM: "Yeah, but... that's elephants! They have....personality, and soul, and emotions."

DA: "And rattlesnakes don't? So, you're saying we should only protect the cute animals, then. Just the ones with human-like personalities."

FM: "No! But...it's rattlesnakes, for God's sake...!"

And so it went, around and around. So, I came to the conclusion that I'm still going to attend and enjoy the Rattlesnake Roundup. Why? 1) In a National Geographic article (http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2003/01/0130_030130_snakeroundup.html ), the TX Parks and Wildlife Department says the western diamondback rattlesnake is so "widespread and abundant throughout Texas...we just don't know what a sustainable harvest should be." Basically -- it's rattlesnakes. We're in Texas. There's a million of them. They're not going anywhere. 2) People against the round-ups say the snakes are treated inhumanely -- put in small containers when they are transported, with no food or water, and they are abused and exploited at the round-ups. Of course, these are reports made by objective, totally unbiased groups like the ASPCA, PETA, and the Humane Society. Therefore, all I can judge is what I saw in Taylor: a bunch of snakes inside a little 20'X20' building (which was much cooler than it was outside), crawling all over the floor and into huge piles in each corner, basically just hanging out. One or two lazily trying to make a sly getaway by climbing up the wall, to no avail. There were always 3 or 4 burly handler-guys hanging around talking, occasionally dangling a ball cap or a balloon over bunch of them to try and get one to strike, if a pretty girl asks them nice. As far as exploitation goes -- OK, maybe that's going on a little. But truthfully, in the sacking ring, the entertainment comes from the handlers trying not to get bitten, not so much the snakes themselves. And it's not like they're putting little hats on them, or dressing them in superhero costumes, or making them do tricks for snacks. It's not quite that kind of exploitation, which to me is much worse. Here's a day in the life of the snakes I saw: "I'm in a building. Now I'm in a box. Now I'm in a bag. Now I'm on the floor. Now some guy picked me up. Tried to bite him. Missed, dammit. Now I'm in a bag again. And now I'm on the floor again." There, all in a day's work for one of those, poor, exploited rattlesnakes.

Bottom line? I gotta just call "food chain" on this one. Sorry, I want to be humane. And I think anybody that actually abuses or neglects an animal should be put under the jail, with a bunch of rattlesnakes. And a fire-anthill. And a gallon of honey. But here, I just don't think that's the case. I never saw a snake abused, or looking scarred and unhealthy. The vibe wasn't one of exploitation, it was more like, "Rattlesnakes aren't evil. You shouldn't hate them. But they are dangerous as hell, and pretty cool too. Wanna see?" That's pretty much the size of it. Rattlesnake round-ups were originally started a hundred years ago by ranchers doing it to protect their livestock -- every spring they went out in groups and rounded up as many as they could, and exterminated them. And they would still be doing it today, if it weren't for the sacking championships and fairs. And the truth of it is, rattlesnake roundups, just like all fairs and rodeos and festivals, are pretty much just an excuse to put up carnie rides and sell beer. They're community fund-raisers, and for small towns like Taylor, they perform a valuable service. OK, after the round-ups, the snakes are sold to vendors for hides, meat, etc., not released back into the wild. But like I (and the TX Park and Wildlife Svc) said, the western diamondback rattlenake population isn't going anywhere. And what do you want them to do, put 'em in a ditch and fill it up with dirt? Put 'em in a sack and chunk 'em in the lake? Maybe put 'em all in a big box and stick a hose in it attached somebody's idling pick-em-up truck for the big annual Taylor Jaycees Rattlesnake Holocaust. No, I vote for selling them off for skins and meat. They're not too bad if you cook 'em right -- taste kinda like chicken.

Really, there are wars going on. And abused children in your backyard. And plenty of animals that are actually treated cruelly and exploited. And trees that need a hug. It's not like they're having baby seal round-ups, or Giant Panda sacking championships. These are freaking rattlesnakes. They'll be just fine.

Thanks again, Gayle, for your concern and feedback.

Roger