Flores:
Do you know why I pulled you over?
You're
looking for a potential DWI arrest.
Rabon:
I have no idea.
Flores:
You've got a headlight out.
Rabon:
Really? Damn.
Flores:
Can I see your license and proof of insurance.
Rabon:
Here you go.
Flores:
Sir, this insurance is for a Ford Ranger. This is a Honda.
Rabon:
Yeah, I know it is. Sorry, I don't have my updated insurance in here. My
mistake.
Great...so
I am getting cited for something. Oh well, I'll get that taken care of some
time next month. Now let's see if he pulls the field sobriety bullshit with me.
Flores:
Can you step out of the car please?
Rabon:
Certainly.
Here
we go.
Flores:
Come stand over here.
Rabon:
Sure.
Get
that fucking flashlight out of my face. It's annoying when you're sober. Good
God, man...how short are you? 5' 6"?
Flores:
Where are you headed from?
I
don't see how that's relevant. I'm coming from the Single Headlight
Festival...we hold it on June 22nd every year downtown. Oh, wait...you're
wanting to see if I've come from a bar.
Rabon:
Downtown. From a bar.
That's
right, douchebag. Look closer at my face and eyes...look for the
"signs".
Rabon:
Just to let you know, I've been drinking non-alcoholic beers all night. I don't
drink anymore.
Flores:
Now why would you tell me that?
Rabon:
Because I know where this is headed. You were getting to the point where you
ask me how much I've been drinking and then give me the field sobriety test. I
thought I'd save you time.
HO
HO! You look like you want to hit me, copper! Didn't see that one coming, did
you?
Flores:
Actually, sir, that's not why I asked you to step out of the car.
Bullshit.
Flores:
I wanted to get out of the street for my safety so I could talk to you over
here.
Rabon:
That makes sense.
Flores:
Your eyes look bloodshot.
No
they don't. They're irritated from that goddamn flashlight.
Rabon:
Probably because I have contact lenses in...I've been wearing them all day.
Flores:
How long have you had them in?
Rabon:
I don't know. 5pm?
Flores:
I find it strange that you would bring that up right away that you don't drink.
Rabon:
It's not. I have two DWI arrests and a PI. I've been through this before...and
since I don't drink anymore, I'll take that breathalizer now if you really want
me to show you.
You're
about to snap, aren't you, little man?
Flores:
Maybe you brought that up to distract me from something else. Like you might be
under the influence of a controlled substance, because your eyes are red and
glossed over.
Rabon:
No, that's my contact lenses. And I'm completely sober.
Flores:
...
Come
on. Hit me. You know you wanna. Big man with a gun...do it.
Flores:
Wait right here for a second while I run your license.
Rabon:
Sure thing.
------
Now,
did you see what happened there? For those of you who think cops and DPS
officers main focus is to protect and serve, you need to pull your head out of
your ass. This guy's job is to get DWI arrests and make the state money. Who
pulls someone over at 2 in the morning because of a headlight...on Lavaca
Street? There's plenty of other shit to do. This douchebag was trying to bust me
for DWI, and he got called on it. Kudos for him keeping composure when I punked
him out, though.
And you'll notice that he tried to steer
towards me possibly doing drugs...He knows I wasn't on drugs. He just said that
to express dominance and put himself back in the role of alpha male. That's
what pigs do. Sorry, shithead. Didn't work this time. But I did back off a tad
so that he'd wrap it up. Fuck you, DPS Officer C. Flores. Have a nice night in
your little hat and uniform. Did you have to order it custom to fit you, or is
that a chick's size?