I
understand why grocery stores now have self-checkout stations. It's cheaper
than paying another monkey to ring up customer's items, and in theory, it's a
faster line. What store management failed to realize is this: 75% of the people
who buy groceries are too stupid to use these things.
If
you can't locate the UPC code on a can of fucking peas in a matter of seconds,
you have no business checking yourself out. If you have to look at the goddamn
computer screen in between each item you scan, you have no business being in
the self-checkout line. It's really simple, grandpa. Scan, bag, scan, bag,
scan, bag...then pay. It's not that difficult.
I
love self-checkout because I want the least amount of human interaction as
possible when I'm in the grocery store. The only reason I don't want to use
self-checkout sometimes is the computer talks to you like you're a water-head.
"Scan your next item." "Put the item in the bag." "In
order to breathe, please inhale, then exhale." And yet, people still have
a problem using the thing.
Oh,
and "mom", just because there's not a real cashier there doesn't mean
you can pay for a full shopping cart in the 10 items or less line. It's called
courtesy, whore...something you don't have, obviously, since you brought the
entire brood with you. Having a problem ringing up the produce? Yeah, there's a
code on a sticker that you have to enter. You see, there's not a fucking bar
code on that banana. Christ, I've never wanted to punch someone in the
baby-maker more than I do right now.
From now on, whenever I hear someone ask,
"How can people still support President Bush after all this
bullshit", I'll have to reply with, "I've seen a woman try to scan
actual fruit with a bar code reader."