Paris Hilton is More Fucked up Than I Thought

 

So the story is, Paris Hilton didn't pay a $208 bill for a storage unit, so they sold her personal pictures, video and crap to someone who's made them available on parisexposed.com (for $39.99). Big fucking deal. The only part I found interesting was that Hilton and her former boyfriend Joe Francis (the Girls Gone Wild dickhole) are planning on legal action against the website owner, and Joe actually said, "We're pissed and I feel for Paris right now. She's been victimized yet again..." Yeah, Joe...how could anyone profit from exploiting a blond idiot by showing her naked and doing stupid shit?

 

There's also the rumor that Hilton and Francis are actually making money from the site and the whole story is made up, which makes more sense. But you know what? I don't care about any of that. If you haven't seen Paris Hilton naked yet, you haven't properly abused your internet privileges at work and you're taking your job too goddamn seriously

 

Here's what I found interesting. From the website What Would Tyler Durden Do: "In some of the tapes, although not these, she does a pound of coke off some dudes chest and says 'I got fucked in the butt for coke.'"

 

Classy girl. You know, there are girls that take it in the keyster for coke all the time. No surprise there. If you're strung out, trading an uncomfortable act for free blow apparently is no big deal. But...but...Paris Hilton is fucking rich. She's never worked a day in her life and has no concept of money. She didn't know what Wal-Mart was at one point. What does that say about her? It says she's a whore. Not a slut or a skank. Not even a prostitute or a call girl, who has sex to make a living, which is way more honorable than Paris. She is the exact definition of a diseased-ridden whore.

 

I know you're thinking, "Yeah, I know." No you don't. She took it in the ass for something she could buy easily. Just because it's cocaine doesn't make it cool to be too lazy to call your dealer. It's the equivalent, ladies, of you engaging in anal action for a tic tac. Seriously...Paris pretty much just said, "I got fucked in the butt for a breath mint."

 

Wow. Time to watch her death scene from "House of Wax" (don't rent it...here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHVJpQudxhY)

 

Back