The Race Is On, Part II

"This is how tyranny begins." -- U.S. Rep. Lloyd Doggett (D), in a speech in the U.S. House of Representatives, regarding the use of force in tracking down the "Killer D's" in Texas. Austin Chronicle, May 23, 2003; Vol. 22, No. 38.

"I went to Ardmore, Oklahoma , and all I got was this hat from Denny's." -- Waco, TX Rep. Jim Dunnam

Well, mission accomplished, I guess. The 58 Democrats (the "Killer D's") from the Texas Legislature successfully lammed it for long enough to stop rezoning legislation from being passed last month. Go to the Austin Chronicle website (www.austinchronicle.com) if you want to read a shorter (and far more informed, although liberally slanted) synopsis of what happened. In case you decided to be a rebel and read this Soapbox entry before the previous one, here's a quick rundown:

58 Democrats took off from Austin and hightailed it to Oklahoma last month, just days before a bill restructuring Austin voting districts (to make them lopsidedly conservative) was to be passed. The state government of TX, like the U.S. legislature, is 100% conservative -- House, Senate, and Governor. This bill was going to make Austin, currently zoned as one entire district in itself (Austin is a pretty even mix of Democrats and Republicans, ex-hippies and good ol' boys) into 4 separate districts. These districts were structured (by Republican U.S. Senator from Texas Tom DeLay's assistant) so that all 4 of the districts, and therefore all of Austin, would be predominantly Republican voters. By fleeing to Oklahoma and therefore denying a quorum in the House, so that no vote could be taken, the Democrats derailed the legislation, at least until the Republicans decide to bring it up again.

But CHECK THIS OUT! Remember my description of the Keystone Cops and Buford T. Justice and the Benny Hill music from my first Soapbox on this thing? Turns out it wasn't far from the truth. Except TIMES 10!! From The Austin Chronicle: "Tom DeLay had openly called for the involvement of the FBI and U.S. Marshals, and published reports confirmed that the Texas Dept. of Public Safety called the Air and Marine Interdiction and Coordination Center (now part of the U.S. Homeland Security Dept.) in a futile effort to trace (TX Rep.) Pete Laney's (D) airplane." Oh my FREAKING God! Are you kidding me?? The FBI?? U.S. Marshals? The Department of Homeland Security? Take a good look, folks. This is the nasty underbelly of the allegedly good-intentioned Dept. of Homeland Security, and John Ashcroft's anti-terrorism bills (The Patriot Act), allowing more funds and more freedoms to federal "defense" agencies. Sure, they help track down potential terrorists, and that’s great, and the diminution of some of our rights (such as privacy) may be a necessary evil. But using the FBI and DOHS to track down dangerous fugitives (or "terrorists" as Dallas Republican Rep. Don Branch called the "Killer D's" -- nice to see that becoming a catch-phrase for anybody that disagrees with you) like a bunch of POLITICIANS, for cryin' out freakin' loud, is just what you would expect from a FREAK like our sainted Attorney General John Ashcroft.

Don't be fooled, y'all -- he puts on a good face, and waves the flag, and says patriotic stuff, and all that crap, but John Ashcroft is a LOONEY TUNE! OK, get this: He lost a senate re-election to a dead guy (when presented with the choice between John Ashcroft and a dead guy, the voters in his home state went with the dead guy!), he's a fundamentalist Christian (you know, like fundamentalist Muslims), when he took his oath of office as Attorney General, he had the statue of Lady Justice draped with cloth because the statue is bare-breasted, and, oh yeah, he thinks black cats are evil. I'm not kidding. Hey, if you want to hear a great and hysterical CD, check out David Cross's CD "Shut Up You Fucking Baby". OK I took a good bit of what I just wrote about ol' John A. from that record. The whole thing (a 2-disc set) is great, though -- political comedy a-la Bill Hicks (except with less outward audience hatred), social & religious commentary, and of course some requisite doodoo-fart-and-booger jokes. Here's a website: http://www.comedynerd.8m.com/daveed/dcgof.html Anyhow, John Ashcroft is still a bizarre and scary dude, and I can't believe he's our Attorney General. The FBI and The Dept. of Homeland Security going full-throttle after a bunch of Democrats in a tour bus (and still couldn't find them, by the way!) is a big fat example of what John Ashcroft really has in mind.

As I've said before, I'm not a big anti-Bush guy. And I'm certainly not a pro-Bush guy either. He's got his good points and bad ones.. And again, I realize that we may have to exchange some personal freedoms so that people don't dive-bomb airplanes into our buildings anymore, and I'm mostly OK with that. But you gotta draw the line somewhere and have some common sense about it, and I really don't think Ashcroft has the good sense to know where to draw the line between personal agendas and ethics. That's the real story here, folks. Not the Texas politics, which, other than Louisiana, is the most bizarre and goofy and f****d up and inane and dangerous and hilarious state government in the nation. I think what the "Killer D's" did was... well... funny. It was some necessary grandstanding. It was probably a diplomatic failure on their part, not being able to swing any votes their way, failing to convince anyone (including the public) how crazy the proposed rezoning was. And running away is running away, no matter how you slice it. Pretty reprehensible, ultimately.

I guess you could say what the Democrats did was wrong, but what the Republicans were trying to do was wrong-er. Trying to make Austin, one of the last bastions of liberalism and ex-hippie-ism in the country, an entirely Republican city, is just plain wrong. I don't care what side of the fence you're on politically, you can't have a city like Austin entirely represented by one political party or the other. In fact, that's what has made Austin music scene famous -- in the 60's/70's, the "Outlaw" movement (Willie, Waylon, etc.) and the "Cosmic Cowboy" movement (Gram Parsons, Doug Sahm) were started because the Armadillo World Headquarters was patronized by a 50/50 mix of rednecks and hippies. They usually hated each other, but music made them come together and have a good time. In my time in Austin, the '90's and '00's, it's the good ol' boys mixed with the tattoo-piercing punk crowd that make this music scene what it is. To see a 25-year-old dude with an armsleeve tattoo and a nosering two-stepping with a blue-haired little old Grandma at the Broken Spoke, and his purple-haired-Betty-Page-hairdo'd girlfriend dancing with the little ol' Grandma's starched-Wranglered and white-Stetsoned husband are what make Austin... well, Austin. To make Austin politically lopsided, toward Democrat or Republican, is completely against what this city is all about.

So, when it's all said and done, it's just usual Texas politics. Which means it's going to be interesting at least, and a damn funny story at best. So... um.... God Bless Texas!?!

Roger