Christmas 2005
Greetings, plebians.
You may wonder why you have
not heard from John and Steph this year. Well, the reason is simple. We are now
better than you. This year we have experienced a huge windfall that not only
has put us in a higher tax bracket, but has also qualified us to purchase all
new family and friends. 
As a favor to you we will
now commence to inform you of the circumstances which led to our newfound
wealth. This year StephÕs family gave her a new tooth, which is why she never
wears the retainer anymore. Thanks, Mom and Dad! Amazingly, it turned out the
retainer was what was holding her back all these years. The second StephÕs boss
saw her non-metallic new smile she was given a huge raise and a bonus equal to
10 yearsÕ salary!
The year was also incredibly
profitable for John. As some of you know, John has been working for an internet
video game company this last year. Well, what you may not know is how busy heÕs
been behind the scenes! They hired him to be a phone monkey, but in his spare
time John was busy developing a new component for the game which makes them
twice as addictive as usual! We donÕt want to get into it too much for
copyright reasons, but a good hint is that it preys on the weaknesses of the
nerds who play the games, and makes them think theyÕre more desirable to people
of the opposite sex.
The cats are still doing
well, of course. Things are a little bit different for them now that weÕre fantastically
wealthy, as you can surely imagine. Remy now throws up $200 a bag cat food, and
Lucy Furr plays with a diamond-encrusted mousie which also dispenses fresh
catnip from itÕs heiney-hole.
John and Steph still live separately, but we are considering
building matching mansions 10 feet away from each other. That way we can still
go back to our own homes, be close to each other, and decorate using our own
personal tastes. Maybe some day you can visit. Ha, ha.
