Kinky For Governor -- Why?

Sorry, Kinky-heads, Kinky Friedman just made an absolute ass of himself on the Joe Scarborough show on MSNBC.

Is this the guy we really want running our state? As opposed to even bigger dickheads like Rick Perry and Grandma Strayhorn, sure. But it's the same old metaphor that they used on South Park in the "Giant Douche vs. Turd Sandwich" episode about voting -- why even vote, when no option is any better than any other, or in fact just poor options altogether? Once again, we're stuck with trying to pick the lesser of two (or three) evils. The fourth option is Democrat Chris Bell, who seems like a decent fellow, if not a little dry next to Kinky and Grandma. And, as usual, those who vote for "independents" like Kinky (who is actually far closer to being a Republican than a Democrat) are taking votes away from the Democratic candidate. Their vote for Kinky is mostly just an anti-Perry/Bush vote, but that vote is also going to get Perry re-elected by taking votes away from Bell, the only other really viable candidate (since Kinky is likely to only win Central Texas). If the liberals/libertarians want Perry out of office, their only real choice is to vote for Chris Bell, not Kinky Friedman. But if Kinky really wants to win, and try and stave off the Texan liberal/libertarian nightmare of another terrible, dishonest Republican governor, he's going to have to come on really strong on the national stage.

This was one of the first national news interviews I've seen Kinky do, so I was really interested to see how he would perform. Again, I'd rather see him as Governor over the two idiot candidates, but I've never been sold on him as a true political leader. He's funny, outspoken, entertaining, and all that, but I really wanted to see how he would do on a semi-serious national news network interview.

So what does he do on Scarborough Country? He's part of a panel that consists of a woman who's a "democratic strategist" and a man who's a columnist for a magazine (can't remember which one), discussing the role of celebrities in politics. They cut to him and there he is, with his big ol' cigar and cowboy hat and the whole bit. He keeps gesturing with his hands and putting them over his face and in front of the camera, and at least three times he did this "fist-pumping" thing that made him look like a crazy person. When Scarborough asked him the first question -- something like "Why do you think celebrities have such a huge influence in elections?" -- Kinky started rattling off "It's time for the people of Texas to choose a new direction, and have a governor who blah blah blah...", not even remotely answering the question posed to him. Then he pumped his fist another time or two. He might as well have taken off his hat and started firing six-shooters into the air like Yosemite Sam or the "rich Texan" on the Simpsons. "Yeeee haw!!! I'm gonna get me a guv'nership!!! Yeee-haaaaw!!!" He eventually did settle down and answer a few questions directly and relatively intelligently. But of course, in the last second of the interview, Scarborough says, "Thanks for coming on...", and Kinky can't help himself but blurt out "Yeah, come on down to Texas, we'll drink some tequila and smoke some cigars and hang out with Willie!" Thanks, Kinky, nice job. Thanks for cementing every goofy Texas stereotype that's been sold about us in the last century.

Don't get me wrong -- there's nothing I like better than to drink tequila, hang out with Willie, and smoke.....um.....cigars. But Kinky as a statesman? A leader? Somebody who can work with many kinds of people rationally and intelligently, who can be an ambassador of Texas to national leaders and foreign dignitaries? No way. If we want a cartoon for our Governor, sure. But haven't we already had one of those? His whole cigar-cowboy-hat-I-love-Willie shtick just smacks of political pandering to me. It's no different than Bush in a flannel shirt and goggles while he's "clearing trees", or Reagan on his horse, or Bill Frist trying to give medical diagnoses on the floor of the Senate to play the "See? I'm a doctor, trust me..." card. Kinky's act is just a big "See?? See how Texan I am? I love Willie! Tequila! Yee haw!! See??"

As a writer, humorist, and personality, I really like Kinky Friedman a lot. And if he would act like a professional instead of like a cartoon, I'd be for him for Governor. I like a lot of the principles he espouses, especially when it comes to his support of musicians and promise to roll back all smoking bans. I just don't think the job of Governor is as easy as he thinks it is; you can't just wave a magic wand (or cigar) and "make things happen" in politics. Again, he's a better option than the two fake, spineless, creepy career politicians who are running, but that doesn't mean he'll be a good Governor. At this point, a chimp would be a better Governor than those other two.

What else needs to be said other than the fact that Kinky's main bumper-sticker campaign slogan is "Kinky For Governor -- Why Not?" When "Why not" is the best reason you can think of to get people to vote for you, then we're all in trouble.

Roger