I LOVE THIS GAME, Part II

All right, here you go. This one's for you sports dorks like me -- if you don't care about or keep up with sports at all, then this one's going to bore you to tears. Otherwise -- well, it still may bore you to tears -- but it seems that there's more of you music-lover types out there that are into sports than I would've thought, so maybe this might help some of you with some friendly arguments or fantasy sports pools, or hopeless gambling addictions.

BASEBALL:

Well, I'll be damned. The Marlins! I have to pause now for a bit fat "I told ya so" to the voices in my head, who chastized me all season long for keeping up with and rooting for and believing in the Florida Marlins. Every time I found myself trying to catch Marlins highlights, or looking up box scores to keep up with Juan Pierre's stolen base count, or got pissed when Mike Lowell got hurt, that old-school wisenheimer voice in my head kept saying, "STOP IT. It's the MARLINS". And, as a general rule, I don't root for expansion teams in any sport. No real reason, I just don't have any reason to care about them, they have no history yet. Hell, I even consider the Expos an expansion team.. and I don't care about them either, except Vlad Guerrero. But with the Marlins, there was no way around it -- they were the best and most exciting team to watch this year.

Top to bottom -- head coach, offense, defense, starting and relief pitching staff -- they were an incredible team. There's no more 2 exciting players to watch than base-stealing FREAK Juan Pierre & rookie pitching phenom Dontrelle Willis -- they look like something staight out of old-school ball, like Jackie Robinson in '49 or Willie Mays in '54. And they play like it, too. Juan Pierre has that rare type of speed that, when he's rounding third trying to score from first on an extra-base hit, or if he's trying to stretch a lazy outifeld single into a double,where it looks like he has an extra gear -- his body takes on a new posture, and his legs spring into a kick that only world-class sprinters have. He's one of those dudes that you watch run and go "Good God, that ain't right!" Last year that's all he was -- a speedster who was only a fair hitter with no power. This year, he dialed it up -- ended up hitting .305, had a .373 slugging %, and led the team in triples & overall hits. And, of course, he led the league in stolen bases with 65. He's only been in the league a couple of years, and if he keeps this up, he may be putting up Rickey Henderson-esque numers by the end of his career, or at least Lou Brock-like. And what's with that name? Juan Pierre -- you'd think with the insurgence of Latin American players, he'd be Dominican, or Puerto Rican or something. But nope -- he's just a badass little black dude from Louisiana who looks kinda like Janet Jackson, circa 1979. I'm going on and on about him because he embodies what's right with baseball, as well as what's wrong by contrast, with his work ethic, emphasis on contact & speed instead of power, intelligence, and ability to have confidence & enthusiasm without being cocky. Look out for Juan Pierre. I could write the same stuff about most of the rest of the team -- Pudge Rodriguez FINALLY getting the respect he deserves, the hoss Mike Lowell, their whoop-ass & Clydesdale-like young pitching staff (average height/weight of about 6'3"/220, age 23) even with A.J. Burnett hurt most of the year, and especially their 72-year-old skipper, "Trader" Jack McKeon. His ability to keep the team confident, realistic, and supremely focused, plus his coup trades for Conine and Urbina, were a sight to behold this year. He & the whole team deserved to be World Champions.

Otherwise, this was one of the best baseball seasons I've ever seen. I was glued pretty much all year -- Wildcard races down to the wire, Clemens' last year, Dontrelle, Bonds, the Yankees vs. Red Sox ALCS (I don't care if Don Zimmer is a crazy old man, Pedro's still a little bitch, frankly), Boone's home run in that same series (I was fired up about that -- Boone's been one of my favorite players & very underrated all year, and I was excited that he got off the Reds' sinking ship & went to a good team), and of course watching the Marlins fight all year was worth the price of admission itself. And with all the free-agencies out there (who in their right mind would want Manny Ramirez, stats or no stats??), this off-season should be pretty interesting as well. I'll probably write a separate Soapbox all about baseball one of these days, but for now we have to move on. It's October, for crying out loud!

FOOTBALL

College -- since Texas and Tennessee are both sucking this year, I have nothing to say about college football.

NFL -- We're only halfway through, so there's no overall synopsis yet. I'll just give you a team rundown -- and if I leave some out, it's because either they suck and aren't worth taking up space for, or they're great and I just don't care.

Dallas -- Well, Parcells has apparently taken them to new heights, but he & everybody else knows it's too good to be true. And with the pounding they took from the Bucs (which could have been much worse than it was), they'd be right. With a wide receiver corps like Galloway, Glenn, and Bryant, Quincy Carter should be able to work some real magic offensively, if he can play the way he did the last 4 weeks. He's shown glimpses of brilliance before, but never the consistency that he's shown so far. He's a smart guy, and realizes that Parcells can take him places Campo never could, and has worked relentlessly to get better. Dallas is officially my team, if I had to pick one -- when I was a kid, you either liked the Steelers or the Cowboys, and no self-respecting Southern kid in the 1970's could be a Seelers fan and live very long where I'm from.

Philadelphia -- OK, everybody get off the "McNabb sucks" bandwagon. The guy has been a premier QB for a couple of years now, and just because he had a shaky start doesn't mean his still not one of the top 5 QB's in the league. He's tough as nails, has a good head on his shoulders, and has the physical abilties to make him a star for years to come. Philly's a good team that's playing way under potential right now.

Washington -- As if I didn't have enough reasons to hate the Redskins, making Spurrier their coach capped the deal for me. And to see him flailing now does my heart good, to be honest. Spurrier has incredible game-time football knowledge, especially offensively, and can lead guys if they already believe in him, especially if they're young and dumb. But hearing that he found out third-hand that a player was cut from his team, at a team meeting no less, shows us all that he doesn't have what it takes to be an NFL head coach. He'd make a great offensive coordinator, but doesn't have the business sense, leadership ability, or composure to get it done in the NFL as a head coach. (Side note: I wrote that before week 9 -- and I gotta say that Spurrier should be charged with attempted murder for leaving Ramsey in that game)

Minnesota -- They've finally found legs as a team, with Moss finally shutting up & playing the way he's capable, and Culpepper finally playing with consistency. They've got an awesome defense this year, and some decent running back help, so they're definitely Super Bowl contenders

Tampa Bay -- Well, they've definitely shown a few kinks in the mighty armor. I still think that they are pound-for-pound the best team in the league, and will break out of their current funk soon enough.

Atlanta -- If they're seriously trying to bring Vick back this season, they've lost their minds. There's no point in it, and he's too important to the franchise and to the NFL to risk a career-ending injury. Dan Reeves trying to push him back into action is just him realizing that his time is running out as head coach, and he's desparate. However, that being said, he should do what's right for the morale of his team and come back, on his own accord, for a couple of games at the end of the season. What a freaking bummer that he's out this year!!

Carolina -- They had one of the best defenses in the league last year, and this year they've gotten even better and added a potent offense with Stephen Davis leading the league in rushing. I could really care less because they're the Panthers, but they're just too damn good to ignore.

Seattle -- same as Carolina -- great team, don't care.

New England -- How do they do it? They have an immobile quarterback, no real running back, and a battered and depleted defense who had their captain stripped of them. But they're still 6-2. They do it the same way they won the Super Bowl -- great coaching and a helluva lot of heart. They do have 3 great receivers and promising tight ends, Brady has incredible poise, and their defensive secondary is finding it's legs. I'm not delusional enough to call them a Super Bowl contender, but with Bill Belicek you never know. Side note: The Patriots are Miss K's team, so I really have to like them by default. Side note #2: again, I wrote all that before week 9's game vs. the Broncos.. and all I can say is, "See??"

Buffalo -- Um, weren't people (including themselves) talking Super Bowl at the beginning of the year? I guess everybody forgot that they have Drew Bledsoe, and that they're the freaking BIlls. Bledsoe has a lot of talent and can get it done when he has something to prove, but you don't want to rely on him to carry your team. They did really juice up their defense, getting Lawyer Milloy and Simeon Rice, but you can't win games 0 to -1. You have to score points, and with no O-line, bothe Bledsoe and Travis Henry are pretty much worthless.

Cincinatti -- New coach, new system, new blood. Yes, the Bengals are still the Bengals -- for now. I'm surprised that Kittna has stayed in as long as he has -- I predicted that by this time they'd be 1-7, Kittna would get hurt or suck so bad they had to bench him for Carson Palmer, Palmer would put a new fire under them and they'd end strong and be ready for next year. But they're playing better than expected, and, if they can get rid of whiney Corey Dillon (great talent, but shut up already!) and his contract, they can be truly competitive next year.

Indianapolis -- Wow, who'da thunk it? One of the most talented and underachieving teams of the last 5 years, and now Peyton Manning has finally decided to live up to his potential and now they're a real contender. The Manning-Harrison connection has been unstoppable, and if they can keep Edgerrin James off the field, they may have a shot. He's one of those guys that the team loves, has great physical abilities and potential, but year after year fails to get it done. When he's in the game, they gear their offense more to him, but he just doesn't execute and they lose. When he's out of the game, the opposing defense has to switch their focus, and Indy's offense is able to mix things up & get Harrison open. I am a big Manning fan (by default -- it's a Vols thing), so I'm glad to see they're having such a great year.

Tennessee -- Power, pure and simple. Steve McNair is a hoss and the best QB in the league, George is hanging in there, and things have come together for them on both sides of the ball this year. They're probably the best bet to win it all.

Kansas City -- Freaking undefeated! How 'bout that, huh? Priest Holmes is a lesson in ball-running freakery as usual, but this year they've found a defense to give them the boost they need to become the powerhouse that they are. No way they'll go 16-0, but they're a hell of a lot of fun to watch.

Denver -- Speaking of ball-running freakery, Clinton Portis is one of the most fun guys in the NFL to watch play, at least when their offense is functioning properly. Maybe if they weren't on their 4th-string QB, they could do something about that. They were even thinking of hiring Jeff George! They'd be better off keeping Rod Smith at QB. Plummer showed some real promise before he got hurt, and when he comes back he should continue playing solid since he'll still have something to prove. He's got a lot of talent, but can fold up like a bad poker hand when things start to go sour. Should be interesting to watch.

Oakland -- And speaking of fold-up jobs, Oakland has put together one of the most epic choke-jobs of all time. Dare I call them the "Choke-land Raiders? It started in the Super Bowl last year, and since then they've played like a dump truck with four flat tires. That's a pretty accurate analogy, actually -- they have tons of talent, tons of pressure, but simply don't have the legs to get it done any more. No one in particular is to blame -- it's just a lethal combination of an old team, an overrated egomaniac QB, and a coach than can do nothing with either side of the ball and is totally out of touch with his team. After their LOSS to Detroit (yes, Detroit), Callahan actually called the Lions an "excellent football team". Does anything more need to be said? If they can get some young talent next year, and keep some of the old guys around to teach them (you can't beat Jerry Rice & Tim Brown showing your new receivers how to play the game), they may be able to climb out of that legendary black hole.

Arizona -- You gotta know that if Emmitt Smith had thought he'd be going to the Cardinals, he would have found a way to stay with the Cowboys or retire. His performance against the Cowboys was pitiful at best -- he just didn't want to play any more that day, and still doesn't. Oh yeah... Arizona pretty much sucks, by the way.

Chicago -- They are terrible this year, but then went and ruined a perfectly good chance at an 0-16 season. What the hell happened to Kordell? What a sandwich.

Detroit -- Same Detroit, different year. They have some promise for the next few years, with Mariucci, Harrington, and Rogers, but it ain't happening this year.

BASKETBALL

College hoops haven't started yet. And as usual, TX and TN are probably not going to be good, so I don't pay much attention.

NBA -- Since they just started a few days ago, there's not a whole lot to say yet. I guess Lebron James is the big story -- and, I can't believe it, but so far he's lived up to the hype! He was great in his first 2 games -- scoring, passing, rebounding, running the floor, playing great D. There's no way an 18 year old KID should be playing in the NBA, much less playing well, and much less RUNNING THE POINT! Point guards are supposed to be floor generals, guys with extreme poise and knowledge of the offense -- not 6'7" kids! I hate to jump on a bandwagon, but watching the guy play is like watching Jordan in the Bulls' championship years -- he's a step ahead of everybody else, he just moves different and better than everybody else, he sees the floor like no teenager should be able to do. And what the hell is a guy 6'7" doing playing point guard?? I guess it's because, If he has a flaw, it's that he's not a great shooter. I assume that's why he's a point guard -- if the Cavs had a true point guard like Jason Kidd or Gary Payton, and Lebron can find his shot, I would hope they'd move him to slasher/shooting forward. If he doesn't get hurt or do something stupid, he's going to change the face of the game the way Jordan did in the 80's/90's.

Otherwise, Carmello Anthony's doing OK but not tearing it up, and I'm bummed that T.J. Ford is hurt. On non-rookie news -- I guess the next biggest story is Kobe Bryant. I'm sick of hearing abut it, so I'm not going to say much other than what a major disappointment the whole thing is. Kobe was one of the good guys -- smart, incredibly talented, one of the few "non-playa" players, always touting the sanctity of being married and having a family. Then this! He probably should have sat out the season and had the trial in a few months, rather than dragging it out and trying to play, and putting his team through the circus. I think the Lakers would be just fine without him. Let's see, what else... Chris Webber's still hurt, and when he comes back Sacamento's going to be unstoppable. With the addition of Walker, Dallas is going to be even tougher this year, even though Dirk Nowitski looks like a dork with his head shaved. And the T-Wolves finally got Garnett some help with Latrell Sprewell, so they should be a real team to watch this year. Maybe they'll actually get out of the first round of the playoffs!

Well, there ya go folks, hope it was OK. Hey, at least you read this far, so it couldn't have been too bad, huh?

Roger