DOWN WITH BOOBIES

I live in north/central Austin, just barely east, in the Cherrywood neighborhood. We belong to "NeighborhoodNet", a Yahoo group where people in your 'hood can post stuff -- yard sales, meetings, general busibodiness. Someone just posted a message saying "There's a protest going on outside The Crazy Lady right now -- picket signs and everything." As it was time for my nightly beer run, and I live in a very porno-strategically placed locale, I figured I'd drive by for a gander. But nope, it wasn't the Crazy Lady (a strip joint, for you out-of-towners) -- it was Dreamers, the porno store two blocks away!

Hilarious. As I drive by, there's a gaggle of smartly-dressed twenty-somethings, male and female, standing out on the frontage road waving picket signs that said stuff like "Women Are Not Objects Of Lust" and other similar strokes of genius. I had to holler "Nice rack!" out the window as I drove past -- I just couldn't help myself.

File this one under "no shit". Obviously, there's truth in their message. OK, swell -- women aren't objects of lust. Way to take a stand. That's like picketing outside a prison, with signs that say "Killing is Bad". Or holding up "Just Say No To Drugs" signs outside a methadone clinic. Or standing outside a cathedral with signs that say "Beating Up Nuns Is Really Really Wrong". Really, you trailblazers? Nice job.

Of all the seriously screwed up things that go on in this city or any other -- rapes, child abuse, corporate greed, political corruption, enough pollution to choke a horse -- they choose to spend their Saturday night forcing great social change outside a freaking porno store. You want to get that "anti-lust" message out? Try going down to 6th street and standing outside a jello-shot bar or Coyote Ugly for a couple of hours. Or better yet, maybe try picketing Dallas Nightclub, the date-rape capital of Texas.

Know why you don't go to those places? Because you are little peion, uber-Christian do-gooder wannabes, and you have NO balls. You know that a protest at a place like Dallas Nightclub, where it might actually matter, would last about 5 minutes before the owners and patrons made you streak your Dockers and run. But no, Dreamer's porno store is your Waterloo, brave soldiers. Viva la revolution.

Roger